Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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