sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
