my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize