we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
