i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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