im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
