Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
