I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
