i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
