WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
