Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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