She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
