I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
