She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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