Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
