I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
