There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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