i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
