just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
