bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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