I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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