So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
