David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
