I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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