I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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