I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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