I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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