I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't think brook has ever known best
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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