Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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