I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
