i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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