yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
