**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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