I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
bring money and cleavage
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This is classic penis vs brain.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
