What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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