Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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