They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
