Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You ruined the universe
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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