if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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