The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
