I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
His nipple licking is glorious
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