one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I intend to get homeless drunk
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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