I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
