"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
