Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sext me about skeletons
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