I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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