NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
