Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
