I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
