I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
