Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
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I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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