Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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