So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
