Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
