addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
