I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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