Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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