Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
