with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
false alarm. still invincible.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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