it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
