Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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