I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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