it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
