I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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