Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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