Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
